mama...oooo...didn't mean, to make you cry...

the flask is dry. i don't have a drop of smartass-ness left in me today. maybe it's because i started the day reading this sad article about janis's fears about one day turning on the t.v. and finding out her daughter is dead. yikes.

here are some quotes from mama wino's most recent interview:

"I reached the stage with Amy where I planned to ask her where she'd want to be buried. I was serious...The problem is that Amy is so high-profile. If I want an update on what state she's in at any given moment, I just have to turn on the television. Amy's problem is always in my face...There are a lot of people rooting for her. But I know I could turn on the TV and learn the worst."

"Something like this eats into the family and I can see how it could tear people apart. No matter what hurt they've caused they're still your babies. She'll always be my little girl sitting at the window singing...She was never a bad child, I don't suppose many addicts were. It's just they have no realisation it's wrong to do drugs."

janis should have a lifegem made from amy's beehive. i bet there's enough carbon in there to make the crowned jewels!

well i'm depressed now...time for a campari and coke!

JANIS FEARS ONE DAY TURNING ON TELLY TO SEE AMY'S DEAD

off the mop

blaaake is depressed in jail! omg! what has he done to display his angst? has he cut himself/overdosed/written suicide notes!?

no, my friends, it's even worse!

HE'S OFF THE MOP!

a source at London’s Pentonville Prison said:

“Blake is on the verge of a nervous breakdown...He has stopped his mopping job, which may sound funny, but it gave him something to do. Instead he mopes around his cell."

yes, source at London's Pentonville Prison, it DOES sound funny. ceasing to mop endless jailhouse floors does not indicate a nervous breakdown. blaaake probably has a new penpal to write dirty letters to or has reached the climax of a michael crichton novel.

MOPING BLAKE IS OFF MOP DUTY

well done wino: wake up alone, may 2007

with so much negative press swirling around, i've decided wednesday is the perfect day for "well done wino", a post dedicated to the good stuff. it's easy to forget our heroine is a musician and not just a cartoon character. o yeah...sometimes she sings...!?

this excellent performance has it all: blaaake in the audience, wino's idiosyncratic skirt-clutch, great vocals (listen for "breath-leess!" in the 2nd verse). one of her best tunes from back to black, in my humble yet loud opinion.

WAKE UP ALONE, SHEPHERD'S BUSH, MAY 2007

and if my daddy thinks i'm fine...

uh oh. have words been put into mitch's mouth...!? con-TRAH-ver-sy!

THE SUN quoted a source as saying:

“Mitch is furious...He’s certain someone put E in Amy’s drink — and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it...He is convinced that one of her hangers-on was responsible and he's waiting for a toxicology report to show what caused her to fit...If his suspicions are proved right, he wants someone to be punished. He is seriously unhappy about Amy's flat being a stop-over for randoms and wants an end to it."

however, according to gigwise, the story is UNTRUE! mitch denied it all, saying to bbc:

“And I don't know who this source is. But I'm gonna find out."

eek. i'd be afraid of mitch if i were a junkie. his meaty paws look like vice grips. he could snap pete doherty in half as nonchalantly as a 'nice' biscuit.

a final thought...what's the deal with female singers their interferin' daddies these days? britney (ew) & pa, miley (ew) cyrus & billy ray, jessica (ew) simpson and joe...messieurs cobain/morrison/jagger/bowie/staley/doherty/et al. have never stormed into their rock star son's lives and took control of their money, forced them into rehab and made press statements. weird.

THE SAGA CONTINUES

tuesday sorbet: THE ZUTONS

winehouse is like campari- bitter, slightly repulsive yet strangely delicious. campari goes well with coke...and so does wino. *woh woh*

however, after a few days of campari and coke, i need to cleanse the palate. a british musical sorbet is what i want. something sweet and refreshing, please.

THE ZUTONS rock. they're one of the best british bands ever. abi, centre, plays sax. dave, right, writes and sings the tunes. the others help out. it's heaven.

check out these videos on youtube. they will make you feel good. and yes, they wrote "valerie", wino's hit cover from 2007.

VALERIE

CONFUSION

REMEMBER ME

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS WE DO

the corpse lives

it must have been the KFC. according to bbc radio 1 newsbeat, wino has returned to her camden flat, looking frail. mitch says she has "scoffed the whole thing".

yay! she'll be back to yelling "blaaake" and terrorizing camden pubs in no time!

instead of posting the grainy shot of amy leaving hospital, i thought i'd add a pic of her from 2004. who is this winehouse?

AMY RETURNS HOME

she's f***ed up! she's f***ed up!

it took merely hours for the tabloid king THE SUN to run a trashy piece, complete with a nasty quote from blaaake's mother, georgette fielder-civil:

“I’m not surprised she’s in hospital again. But all that matters to me right now is our son.”

and a precise one from mr. winehouse:

"she's f***ed up! she's f***ed up!"

later, mitch kindly brought his ailing daughter some dirty bird. lifting up two greasy bags, he stated cryptically:

“This is how serious it is — I’m bringing her some KFC.”

ew. the image of winehouse gnawing at chicken in a hospital bed should not have been put into my mind. it's like a scene from a creepy old pre-war german film. nightmares guaranteed.

MITCH BRINGS WINO KFC

WINO RUSHED TO HOSPITAL

BREAKING NEWS: according to the Daily Mail, winehouse has been rushed to the accident and emergency ward of an unspecified London hospital.

i'll update as more info comes in and when mitch makes his inevitable statement...

come on, amy! find your will to live, girl!

UPDATE (pic from splashnewsonline):

the Daily Mail has updated their story. it was quite the scene- mitch was there along with crowds of paparazzi, paramedics and police (the 3 P's of fame gone wrong). amy's friends hoisted a blanket around the ambulance to prevent pictures of her face being taken. the only part of our heroine visible were her bare, dirty feet. she has been admitted to University College Hospital, it has been confirmed.


UPDATE (pic from splashnewsonline):

mitch and remi nicole, amy's close friend, engage in a heart to heart. in an interview with the Times Online, mitch described young amy as:

“...extremely high maintenance, not because she needed lots of money spent on her. She’s never been like that. What she really likes is for people to worry about her.”

...indeed.

UPDATE:

Yup, it's the drugs...the legal drugs...

"Amy Winehouse suffered a reaction to medication at home this evening and was taken to the hospital. Doctors have advised that she will be kept under observation overnight and is likely to be released tomorrow," read a statement released by Goodman and Tracey Miller, the 24-year-old's U.S.-based publicist.

AMY ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL IN EMERGENCY DASH

blaaake begs amy to leave london

yes! only 24 hours into winehousewatch and i have the distinct honour of posting a "blaaake" item! dlisted, that bastion of celebrity gossip, coined the triple-a monicker for fielder-civil, and there's no going back to spelling blake with one A! "blaaake" is an onomatopoeia! "blaaake" is jazz poetry!

anyway, according to mirror.co.uk, mitch winehouse, shy, private man that he is, had this to say:

"Blake totally gets it. He said to me, 'We can't carry on living in London. We need to move out to the country'...If they do they could have the most fantastic life together, with the full blessing of my family. Whatever happens, we won't be where we are now in two years' time."

mitch also claims that amy and blaaake have a pre-nup. let's all exhale a collective sigh of cigarette smoke.

apparently blaaake and mitch have called a truce, agreeing that "taking Amy away from the bad influences that surround her in the city is the only way to rescue her." awwww. the love.

BLAAAKE BEGS AMY TO LEAVE LONDON

wino week july 21-27th: inanimate amys

winos to the left of me, winos to the right of me...winos before me, made from vegetables! this winehouse sculpture was the winning entry in the "vegetables figure" section of the Lambeth County show in South London. nice eggplant beehive! the below article also outlines wino's friday night out accompanied by vodka, JD, smokes and a scraggly musician (that's our girl!)

AUBERGINE AMY

a wino week without mitch & janis appearing at an event that their daughter doesn't bother to show up to would be incomplete!!

good ol' mitch & janis posed with Madame Tussaud's waxwork in London-gotta give mitch credit for his mobster-esque style. check out the shine on his shoes- and the hold he has on "amy"s wax elbow!

the Daily Mail (i can't help loving that site, it's such good british cheese) ran an unflattering comparison between wax wino and flesh wino:

WAX VS WINO


didn't john cougar mellencamp have a creepy song that went, "blood on the scarecrow, blood on the plow..."? that's the soundtrack in my head each time i read this story about a farmer and his terrifying yet winsome winehouse scarecrow. he is quoted as saying,

"The pigeons are terrified, they're sitting up on the telephone wires too scared to come into the field which is brilliant. Every farmer needs an Amy scarecrow...She's the best scarecrow we've ever had and she's doing a brilliant job. In fact she's doing a better job scaring the birds than she is singing at the moment...I'd be happy to offer her a full time job if she needs one when the singing is over"

SCARECROW AMY SCARES THE BIRDS

wow. there certainly were a lot of false winehouse idols created in the week of july 21-27. is this a subtle hint from the universe that the apocalypse is closer than we think?

what kind of fuckery is this?

hi all...welcome to winehousewatch. once upon a time, i started a blog with the intentions bringing down michael buble. sadly, contrary to my predictions of a world wide revolution against bad covers of "save the last dance for me", buble remains alive and well, continuing to sing stolen arrangements to stadiums full of cougars. my only comfort in buble's longevity is that emily blunt dumped his arrogant wedding singer butt. anyway, i became weary of blogging without a cause. i have now come to accept a world where buble exists. i'm getting soft in my old age.

fast forward to today. whilst searching for a blog that deals solely in the sordid adventures of the one and only amy winehouse and finding nothing to fulfill me, i thought to myself, "ha! why don't i start a winehouse blog? wino is way more fun than buble...at least i like her music and get a kick out of her daily shenanigans."

so here it is, people. all the links you need to get your weekly, daily or hourly winehouse fix, depending how insane she is and how busy i am.

seeing as today is a sunday and amy rarely misses a saturday night out, we begin with a classic. courtesy of the Daily Mail, marvel as our heroine punches grates and runs through London:

AMY GOES OUT ON A LASH