pas de rehab

yesterday, the rumour was wino went to rehab. today, mitch's words are vindicated, as she actually IS in hospital for a chest infection. her spokesperson says:

“Amy is in hospital being checked out with for a chest infection. She is not back in rehab...She should be fine and is expected to return home soon.”

i haven't had coffee yet, so i'm not so witty in the brainbox. i'll just issue a standard, "get well amy!!!"

WINO IN HOSPITAL

rehab redux

this is starting to get old. in order to avoid being arrested for punching some dancer at the end of summer ball, wino has headed to yet another stint in rehab, this time in the harley street clinic. as usual, mitch has opened his big mouth to tell us all that his daughter is suffering from a "chest infection". more details to follow, i am sure!


WINO ESCAPES ARREST BY GOING TO REHAB

alien amy

i'm a little nervous posting about scientology- they, like all organized churches, give me the heebs something fierce. scientology isn't much different from any other church who preys on the weak to boost their numbers. the christians pray to a big man in the sky, the scientologists believe in aliens. they both ask for money...same room, different colour, isn't it?

anyway, it has been reported that the church of scientology has contacted our heroine. a source says:

“She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back to Black album...They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a programme so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”

drying out with the help of scientology is a lot of work. first, the addict is given vitamin cocktails (mmm cocktails!). next, they are given a series of saunas and put on a "detox diet". finally, they have to work through self-help books. if wino did go through it, imagine how much those workbooks would be worth in the future!

TOM CRUISE WANTS WINO

"i can't believe what has happened to me. i am so sad"

more disturbing details on wino's "end of summer" fiasco have emerged. someone needs to sit her down and make her watch "the rose", "la vie en rose" and "lady sings the blues" on continuous loop until a lightbulb goes off in her head.

wino had dionne bromfield, her 12 year old god daughter, replace her at this big-assed gig because she couldn't face performing. she joined dionne on stage, uttering a few grunts resembling backups and clutching her god-awful shorts. then, amy skulked across the stage bellowing, "This is Dionne, everyone, Dionne. Remember this f****** name, you don’t f****** know.” after only a few songs, wino became so emotional she dragged the girl off before it was over! weeping backstage and clutching dionne in her scraggly arms, she made the following statements to journalists;

“I was more nervous about the gig than Dionne. I couldn’t even leave the house without her.It was so emotional being on stage with her...I got so upset I started crying and had to drag her off...I love her. She’s f****** amazing.”

“When I look at Dionne she reminds me of myself. I used to be this little girl who liked Celine Dion and singing, this beautiful sweet girl with innocent dreams...Look where I am now. Look what happened to my dreams. This isn’t a life – I’m a mess, look at me...But this girl has everything ahead of her. She’s so beautiful and she reminds me so much of myself...This beautiful happy girl, she is so much like I used to be. I don’t want to leave her alone. I can’t believe what has happened to me. I am so sad.”

wino listened to celine dion? ew! she then made the obligatory reference to her blaaake;

“Dionne doesn’t have a boyfriend, she doesn't have a Blake to mess her up. She’s sweet and should stay like that...What life do I have? My life begins when Blake gets out of prison. He is my life, I want to see him.”

and so it went. now, our heroine's friends are so concerned they are setting up camp camden. a source says;

“No one wants to leave Amy on her own — she’s in a very fragile state at the moment...Her most loyal friends are terrified she is going to do something which she can’t overcome...She’s been to hell and back already but some fear she’s going to get worse before she gets better."

am i stating the obvious when i say ROCK N ROLL INTERVENTION? get bowie, jagger, iggy pop, dave gahan, courteney love, clapton, david crosby and ozzy together and storm that apartment!

WINO: "I AM SO SAD"

24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE

you're not hardcore...unless you live hardcore

o, wino, when will you learn to take drugs in the toilet like a good junkie?

a 36 second video showing wino snorting coke at a camden pub last month has been released. in the grainy footage, wino snorts away in the middle of the club, in front of a union jack.

georgette fielder-civil, blaaake's mama, had a lot to say about this. here are some quotes from her latest interview:

“Prison will do Amy far more good than Rehab...I’m shocked by the video. When I look at Amy I think: ‘For Christ’s sake, just get a grip of yourself.’...Enough is enough...As the police know Amy is a drug addict - and she has now been caught twice on film taking illegal drugs - they should arrest her and put her behind bars....Rehab clinics are a waste of money, unless you want them to work...Amy doesn’t want to give up drugs, so she’s got to learn the hard way in prison...Police have to act. She is making a mockery of the law. It has got to stop...The price Amy has got to pay is losing her freedom.”

she also goes on to talk up her angel of a son, blaaake:

“When he went in Pentonville last November he was in a terrible mess. His skin was a horrible dirty yellow colour, he was painfully thin and he had dead eyes. I will never forget that haunted look. I feared we were going to lose him...But they gave him amazing medical treatment in prison to get him off drugs and then helped him conquer his personal demons...It worked a miracle...Now nine months on he looks amazing. He has put on nearly two stone in weight, his skin is glowing with health and he is so relaxed and happy...But while Blake has been inside, Amy has gone disastrously downhill...Prison worked for Blake. It’s the only thing that can now save Amy.”

if wino went to jail, she'd still get high. and i'll believe all this talk of blaaake being a new man when i see it.

WINO'S "COKE VIDEO SHAME" (lol)

wino's wonderwall

six years ago, russell brand was in the throes of heroin addiction. since attending rehab at focus 12, he's been dead sober. today, he is attempting to help winehouse get clean.

the telegraph reports:

The soul artist is reported to have booked into the small Focus 12 clinic in Bury St Edmunds, where comedian Russell Brand was treated for his addiction to drugs.

It is only 15 miles from Category C Highpoint Prison, near Newmarket, where Fielder-Civil was sent after being moved from Pentonville Prison in London earlier this month.

Her father Mitch Winehouse said: "This is a very good idea. If she can get clean and still see Blake it can only be good."

Two weeks ago it was reported that Winehouse was flat-hunting in Bury St Edmunds to make it easier to visit her 26-year-old husband.

It was then that Brand, a presenter on Radio 2, suggested to Focus 12 chief executive Chip Somers that she could get treatment locally at the same time. Mr Somers agreed and contacted the star.

i hate to be a debbie downer, but can wino really be successful in rehab? being so famous and so under the microscope, can she fully participate in focus 12's group counselling? she must be so afraid of someone selling her out to the tabloids: "winehouse spills secrets! secret cell phone footage!"

aw, but brand stepping in to help...how deliciously, bizarrely appropriate. wino's beehive must have appeared to ol' russ in a dream, singing the chorus of wonderwall. check out the youtube link below of wino on brand's tv show. no doubt about it-they are definitely cut from the same mad genius cloth (russ yells at wino, "winehouse, do a record you lunatic! sing it out of your gob!").

party at wino's

this is what happens to a person after only 3 hours inside wino's camden crack den. sadie frost (fashionista/jude law's ex/actress) went to visit amy stone cold sober and reappeared completely wasted! on a monday night! gotta love these hardcore brits!

here sadie emerges with kristian marr...check out his eyes. there's no question he'll be picking up a curry takeaway on the way home.

i'm jealous! i wanna party at wino's! it looks like a good old fashioned 70s style shindig complete with cigarettes, hard liquor, a bong shaped like a buddha, coke on mirrors, led zep on the stereo and late night jiffy pop!

SADIE'S BEEN WINO-ED

abbey road

once upon a time, monks were hidden away from the outside world. today, they are rock stars who keep laptops in their cells. i bet they sew little pockets into their robes so they can carry their cell phones and ipods around the monastery.

anyway, the Cistercian Monks of Stift Heiligenkreuz want to save our girl wino. brother Johannes Paul Chavanne said this:

"For 10 minutes I liked [Back to Black, Winehouse's 2006 album]...But when I read the lyrics I thought it was sad. I would like to invite her here - I feel sympathetic to people like her. She could stay a week or two and discuss the big questions of life - faith might be an answer for her."

these monks are hardcore, man. they start their "praying and working" at 5:15 am and go until 8 pm. there's no way a monk could drag wino out of bed at 5 am! that beehive doesn't rise from the pillow before noon without a cigarette, irish coffee and 10 advils.

i met a buddhist monk once- he was really cool. he didn't speak a word of english, but we went to an art gallery together and "discussed" art. he even gave me a korean name, "soo yun" (waterlily). i wish i could have asked him the real burning question: "do monks wear underwear under those robes?"

MONK ROCK