pas de rehab

yesterday, the rumour was wino went to rehab. today, mitch's words are vindicated, as she actually IS in hospital for a chest infection. her spokesperson says:

“Amy is in hospital being checked out with for a chest infection. She is not back in rehab...She should be fine and is expected to return home soon.”

i haven't had coffee yet, so i'm not so witty in the brainbox. i'll just issue a standard, "get well amy!!!"

WINO IN HOSPITAL

rehab redux

this is starting to get old. in order to avoid being arrested for punching some dancer at the end of summer ball, wino has headed to yet another stint in rehab, this time in the harley street clinic. as usual, mitch has opened his big mouth to tell us all that his daughter is suffering from a "chest infection". more details to follow, i am sure!


WINO ESCAPES ARREST BY GOING TO REHAB

wino's intercom interview

our heroine has not been seen in public since the "end of summer" fiasco, but she did give an impromptu interview to some ballsy french woman through her camden intercom. there was talk of blaaake, bien sur, but nothing revelatory.

my favourite part of the interview is this exchange:

frenchie: "what can i wish for you amy?"

amy: "huh?"

frenchie: "what can we wish you for the future?"

amy: "don't worry about me, worry about yourselves and promise me you'll buy my album"

...just like brian wilson did...

our heroine has finally said "screw you world" and taken to her bed. aw, poor girl. she missed her DJ set at the monarch pub last thursday night, saying she was bedridden. a source says:

"She's always showed up when she's been down to play here before, but apparently tonight she can't get out of bed. She's been looking so thin and haggard lately, it's a real worry."

in other depressing wino news, it has been rumoured that she has completely stopped working on her third album because she hasn't written any worthwhile songs. le sigh.

ALBUM #3 ON HOLD

WINO LIES IN BED

tuesday sorbet: ADELE

adele is something else. at just 20 years old, she was nominated for this year's mercury prize for her self-penned album, "19". she performed on SNL this past weekend and kicked some serious butt. what a fantastic voice!

here is her video for her latest hit, "cold shoulder". the chorus is as catchy as a cold!

wino be jammin'

be prepared for your eyes, ears and subconscious mind to be assaulted. this youtube clip has been online for a few months but is picking up steam, having appeared lately on a few blogs (including perez hilton). it features wino jamming in her studio with a family of leeches, um, i mean some friends.

there are so many disturbing elements to this clip: wino's distended stomach, the glee in the voices of the hangers-on as they start the tape, the lonely xylophone guy...it's like a freaky post-modern german horror film with a really bad soundtrack. watch and judge, my pretties, but only if you're in a strong state of mind. if you're feeling even remotely fragile, this will send you directly to bed for a nap.

candy darling

i'm a few days late on reporting the "coke-and-candy-floss" story, which i will blame on two turkeys and a lasagna. here it is, from gigwise, and i 'believe this is verbatim...':

Amy Winehouse has reportedly thought up a brand spanking new way of taking cocaine – mixing it with candyfloss.

The 25-year-old singer was apparently spurred on by Babyshambles' lead guitarist Mick Whitnall after she bought a candyfloss machine for £700.

According to the News of the World, Wino loves the concoction so much that and has even held 'Coke and Candy' parties at her house.

A 'pal' said: “It was Mik’s idea. The candyfloss machine was Amy’s pride and joy and he thought it would be funny to give it a boost...He and some pals sprinkled a wrap of coke into the mixture and Amy started eating it before she realised what they’d done. She now thinks it’s a hoot to do the same.”

yegads! i thought vodka pops were decadent!

knives out

when a rock star compares their own destiny to that of sid vicious, it's only a matter of time before something really bad happens. it is alleged that amy held a knife to her chest in a desperate cry for help, saying "What is the point of living?". a friend revealed:

“Amy said she was ‘caught up in a nightmare’...Her friends managed to get the knife away from her but are now holding a 24-hour watch on her...Amy has a death wish. Her emotions are exaggerated. She is either high as a kite or, when she hears something she doesn't like, she's suicidal...She is all for this stupid Sid Vicious notion of dying young. She is not scared of it and believes it is her destiny."

man, this is depressing stuff for a monday morning. i've got a miserable cold at the moment and thought i felt rotten enough- now after reading today's winehouse headlines i'm wiped right out. when the fuzz in my head clears, perhaps i will have some witticisms to impart. but for now i'll leave you with wino's funeral themed video for "back to black". it seems appropriate.



WINO: "CAUGHT IN A NIGHTMARE"

blaaake maaakes mitch twitch

blaaake has written a lot of icky letters from jail over the past months, but this time he might have gone too far. mitch winehouse claims he received a 6-page letter from blaaake rife with violent threats and abuse. the letter is now in the hands of police; a source close to mitch says:

“I could hear Mitch physically shaking when he phoned to tell me about the letter...He couldn’t even bring himself to read it out loud as it was just too sickening...But he told me that Blake described graphic scenes from a horror movie, in which Mitch is the victim...Part of Mitch wants to pursue this further with the police, maybe even taking out a restraining order...But then he is worried about it all driving a wedge between him and Amy.”

the question is: whose side will wino be on? her father's or her waste-of-space husband's? i'd like to think she'd side with the former, but something tells me she'd stand by her blaaake and make excuses. "he's just creative, dad! he wants to write a screenplay, don't you know? he just wanted some feedback!"

BLAAAKE'S POISON PEN STRIKES AGAIN

alien amy

i'm a little nervous posting about scientology- they, like all organized churches, give me the heebs something fierce. scientology isn't much different from any other church who preys on the weak to boost their numbers. the christians pray to a big man in the sky, the scientologists believe in aliens. they both ask for money...same room, different colour, isn't it?

anyway, it has been reported that the church of scientology has contacted our heroine. a source says:

“She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back to Black album...They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a programme so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”

drying out with the help of scientology is a lot of work. first, the addict is given vitamin cocktails (mmm cocktails!). next, they are given a series of saunas and put on a "detox diet". finally, they have to work through self-help books. if wino did go through it, imagine how much those workbooks would be worth in the future!

TOM CRUISE WANTS WINO

fielder-civil prison blues

when it comes to the imprisoned blaaake story, there are more flip-flops than a beach in miami. turns out blaaake will NOT be released from jail early- edmund's hill prison has rejected his application.

georgette had this to say:

“Blake and Amy are devastated and I am livid...The Probation Service told us they were happy for him to live with us and we expected him home. Now they have told Blake he will either have go to rehab or a hostel or stay in prison until he completes his sentence. It’s a disgrace...I am going to take my protest to the Home Secretary. I’m going to get my Blake home.”

protest what? blaaake completing his sentence? like the home secretary gives a crap about some spoiled rock star husband!

BLAAAKE TO COMPLETE SENTENCE