wino week july 28-aug 3: opinions on wino

when it comes to wino, everyone has an opinion. here's a selection of what celebrities had to say this week:

BRIGITTE NIELSEN:

"The Red Sonja star believes Winehouse, 24, who has been hospitalised several times recently, is ready to self destruct...Nielsen accused the songbird, who is reportedly showing signs of the lung disease Emphysema, of throwing her career and life away with substance abuse. She said: 'I get so sad when I see people like Amy Winehouse destroying themselves. They should get help before it kills them - like I did.'"

SARAH HARDING of GIRLS ALOUD:

“I can’t wait to get out of Camden. I just hate being back there now. It brings back so many unhappy memories...It could do Amy good to get out of there and get a fresh start and perspective...Bless her. I love Amy. She’s a good girl. I’ll look out for her. But I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

JOHN LYDON:

"Poor old Amy. Aimless Winehouse would be a better term. I love all kinds of music but the one thing I have never done is imitate black music in her idiotic way...There's not a single word that means anything. It's not like these songs are deeply moving or inspirational or cultural in any way you could find useful...And the cover up for her which is probably the guilt trip is that she requires vast amounts of drugs to hide the fact that she is fake."

i have nothing against flava flav's ex or the girl's aloud chick, but johnny rotten...puhleez! was he not in a band with sid vicious, a bass player so bad he was overdubbed in the studio!? sid vicious was the quintessential junkie fake and i'm sure lydon doesn't refuse the royalty cheques he receives due to sid's enduring popularity.

who'll be next to express their wino opinion? let's hope it's a varied and exotic list, including the likes of MR. T, little richard, donald trump, charo, elton john, barbra streisand and ru paul.

wino week july 21-27th: inanimate amys

winos to the left of me, winos to the right of me...winos before me, made from vegetables! this winehouse sculpture was the winning entry in the "vegetables figure" section of the Lambeth County show in South London. nice eggplant beehive! the below article also outlines wino's friday night out accompanied by vodka, JD, smokes and a scraggly musician (that's our girl!)

AUBERGINE AMY

a wino week without mitch & janis appearing at an event that their daughter doesn't bother to show up to would be incomplete!!

good ol' mitch & janis posed with Madame Tussaud's waxwork in London-gotta give mitch credit for his mobster-esque style. check out the shine on his shoes- and the hold he has on "amy"s wax elbow!

the Daily Mail (i can't help loving that site, it's such good british cheese) ran an unflattering comparison between wax wino and flesh wino:

WAX VS WINO


didn't john cougar mellencamp have a creepy song that went, "blood on the scarecrow, blood on the plow..."? that's the soundtrack in my head each time i read this story about a farmer and his terrifying yet winsome winehouse scarecrow. he is quoted as saying,

"The pigeons are terrified, they're sitting up on the telephone wires too scared to come into the field which is brilliant. Every farmer needs an Amy scarecrow...She's the best scarecrow we've ever had and she's doing a brilliant job. In fact she's doing a better job scaring the birds than she is singing at the moment...I'd be happy to offer her a full time job if she needs one when the singing is over"

SCARECROW AMY SCARES THE BIRDS

wow. there certainly were a lot of false winehouse idols created in the week of july 21-27. is this a subtle hint from the universe that the apocalypse is closer than we think?